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Second Ode | ||||
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2505: The House Funk Built |
This Ode to Nalsa® has been locked in a
secret vault for 6 months and has newly remerged. It is our nalsed tribute
to how bitches suck, porn, and gangsta rap. If you're a bitch and you're
reading this, we weren't talking about you, its those other bitches,
really. .........................................................................................................................
Ode to Nalsa: The Return
Fuckin’
advertising on the Discovery channel Are
they on crack? How
am I suppose to learn shit when my ass has to sit through commercials? Did
I wake you up with my fart this morning? That
shit was so fuckin’ irregular. …
I mean rank. Don’t you just hate it when you’re with a bitch on a date and she pulls one of those “I’m-going-to-stop-talking-cuz-I-want-a-piece-of-your-D”
look? Fuck.
I just want to grab bitches like that and shake ‘em. (Hey
shut the fuck up. I don’t care if
this stanza’s too fuckin’ long. Deal
with it.) Yo
fool we just landed on Mars. Fuck
that shit. Where’s the nalse …
and Britney Spears? Whoa
it’s a fuckin’ ass-sphincter in space! Yo
you have to fuckin’ phrase it right or else it won’t be fuckin’ funny or
some shit. Wait
… did you write that down? Penis. “That
fuckin’ looks like vagina!” “…
and how would you know?” “From
the porn nieves! How else?” Does
that have a no-slip grip? I
have to go buy me some J-Hats I
got a B.C. back in Big D! And
now a word from the president: “Damn
it feels good to be a gansta!” ugggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh! That’s
a good deal- $19.95 for that shit, but
there’s a bastardly $5.95 shipping and handling fee! (huh huh, you said handling!) Fuck
that then. They should send that to
my ass for free. I
hate animated movies. Hey
stop picking your nose you gross fuck! Where’s
my pants? “Did
I tell you I found a thong in the elevator?” “Yes.” “Fuck
you.” If
I knew, I would know more than I know now. Time
for E.T. to phone home …
if you know what I’m saying! Yo
yesterday I took a shower on my knees and
dropped an A-bomb in the Johnny-C. Ain’t
I fuckin’ cool? “Get
off my ass!” “…
nobody’s on your ass.” “I
wasn’t fuckin’ talking to anybody here.” Damn
nalsa hallucinations. My
shorty called me up last night And
I told her she should cum Strip
for room 704. She
said no. And
I was like, “Oh good God.” “Yo
can I get me a side of ass And
some DSL’s with that?” <slap> “Is
that a no?” My
hoe-bitch said, “Yo come eat lunch wid my ass.” …
and I thought to myself- “Eat what? mmmmm.” What
are your rules of engagement? She
cancelled on my ass. G’dang,
why do I always have to feel embarrassed for other people? Have
you ever felt that way? It
sucks. Y’all
gonna make me lose my mind up in here. Fuck
my ass! Why
can’t a brethren ever git any booty? I
talk about myself in the 3rd person sometimes FGE
says, “FGE needs some play!” and Dan-luv says, “Dan-luv
needs to stop staring at all this scantily-clad scattered ass up in here!” Why
does Dan-luv always give the middle finger to everybody? I
think Dan-luv has some psychological dependency or some shit- Dan-luv
rips ass constantly when Dan-luv is home. Methinks
Dan-luv wouldn’t feel comfortable otherwise. That
there psycho is a little fucked up in the head. …
well duh! That’s
like calling a stupid person stupid, shit for brains. You
stupid bubble-butt bitch Puh-lease
have some cookies. Then
git yo ass back in the kitchen! Yo
you see me? I’m
slapping my ass! I
like to do that you organic bitch. Yo,
that show Fantic on MTV- They only put ugly people on there so then they feel better about themselves after
meeting their idols. Fuck
that shit. That’s discrimination
against us good-looking people. …
and rank shit is still coming out of my ass.
-
"Notorious FGE" and "Danluv"
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Odes to Nalsa |
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